If the court awarded you and your ex-spouse joint custody of your children, you need to able to co-parent effectively. It’s immensely crucial that you try to compromise and cooperate with your spouse. Below are some guidelines to help you out.
Keep your focus on your children.
While you still might be feeling some (or a lot) of sadness and frustration post-divorce, it’s vital to keep your feelings to yourself for a while and prioritize your children’s well-being. This is especially true if you have younger kids who still don’t understand what’s going and might be confused as to why mommy and daddy suddenly stopped living together.
Meet with your ex-spouse regularly.
Use these meetings to discuss all children-related issues. Consider meeting at a neutral place, like a café or restaurant, rather than each other’s homes to avoid potential conflict with new partners or drumming up the past. Don’t bring your children to these meetings so that they won’t be used as intermediaries or as an excuse to avoid talking about issues you really need talk about with your ex, adds a top divorce lawyer in Denver, CO.
Encourage your children to maintain a relationship with them.
If you’re insecure or jealous, that’s your problem, not your children’s. Studies have shown that having positive and happy relationships with both parents is very important to the development of children. Whenever you can, encourage your children to call or message your ex and return your ex’s messages and calls.
Avoid using your children as sounding boards.
Never, ever talk about your frustrations about your ex with your children and complain to them about your ex because at the end of the day you need to remember that your ex is their parent too. If you must vent, call a friend, go out, seek a therapist, or write down your feelings. Don’t let your negative feelings get the better of you.
“Cooperate” should be your mantra.
You don’t necessarily have to be BFFs with your ex, especially if you didn’t part ways as friends. You need, however, to learn how to cooperate with them to ensure your children’s happiness. Remember that your ex will be in your and your kids’ lives whether you like it or not and the sooner you accept this, the better.
Co-parenting is never easy, most especially if you’re not on good terms with your ex. But what you need to keep in mind is that your children need both of their parents. So for the sake your children, you just need to accept the situation and do the best that you can.